The Last Surviving Tourists on Paros, Greece
December 8, 2014
Jon and Gia, just over 2 months in to their round the world trip, arrive at the port of Parikia, Paros. They wanted their photo taken with the ferry behind them, but the locals looked too busy and there were no other tourists to help them out. That photo would have to wait, due to the fact that Jon hates selfies. They saw no other foreigners that night and revelled in an empty tourist town.
December 9, 2014
After a lazy night at their empty hotel, our favourite travelling couple went on a day trip to Naousa, an old port town around 20 minutes from Parikia. They were dropped on a lonely stretch of road, all the while sensing the ghosts of tourists past. They explored the winding lanes and white building clones of downtown Naousa. They climbed the hill to a church, where their only company was a few stray cats and the gathering grey clouds. A beach appeared in the distance, glistening in the last remnants of sun. They climbed around the rocky coast as the ocean waited for them to slip in. Gia wanted a romantic photo, but again there was no one in sight to help. Jon almost agreed to a selfie, but something deep down in his soul told him not to…
They took the bus back to Parikia; surely there would be other tourists there. According to Jon,who happens to be a world famous travel blogger (you should read his stuff!), the old town of Parikia is the ultimate Greek island postcard town. It’s full of back streets and bright alleys full of orange trees and flowers. They strolled the streets for hours, walking by churches, castles and empty cafes. Not another tourist soul was seen that day.
December 10, 2014
Our travellers were starting to feel a growing sense of dread at the lack of tourists on Paros. Had something happened? They thought they should really start watching the news more, but that would have to wait, as they’d planned a day trip to Antiparos. It sounds like the evil, alternate world version of Paros, which might explain why celebrities such as Tom Hanks have houses there. While Antiparos didn’t turn out to be evil, it was even quieter than Paros. Jon and Gia walked to a deserted beach then ate lunch at a port side cafe. They took the ferry back to Paros and wandered along the coastal road back to their hotel.
December 11, 2014
News reports tell of a deadly disease which wiped out 99% of tourists in the Greek islands. Patient zero was an extremely narcissist German snowboarder who grew a little too fond of his own selfie stick. Tribal leaders from around the world warn against appearing in so many photos while travelling, as a photo can steal your soul. Jon felt content in the knowledge that his disdain for selfies saved their lives, and vowed never to be coerced into one again. Having survived the Greek island tourist apocalypse, Jon and Gia set sail for Athens, where they were again lost in a sea of foreign faces. For miles around people were lining up selfies, and Jon started to realise that nothing had changed after the Greek island incident. “Won’t we ever learn??” he cried, at the top of his lungs in the middle of the crowded Acropolis, but no one heard him.
This is a (slightly over dramatic) report on our trip to Paros in low season. We stayed 3 nights and didn’t see any other tourists. We enjoyed it, but it was a little too quiet at times. If you’re a couple looking for a romantic getaway it’d be perfect, but I wouldn’t recommend it to the solo traveller.
Have you been to Paros? Do you think the tourist race could be wiped out by a disease spread by selfies? Let me know!