9 Travel Safety Tips For Men
I’ve lost count of how many “Travel Safety for Women” posts I’ve read lately. Well, I actually haven’t read any of them, but I’ve seen the title a lot. Where are all the tips for men? Are we not human beings too? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die?
In order for the balance of the sexes to be restored, I’m taking it upon myself to write the definitive list of travel safety tips for men.
Don’t travel with a girlfriend who makes you pay for everything
Most people fear being robbed while they are travelling, but if you are with someone who demands that you pay for everything because you are the man, you’re basically being robbed, only no one will have sympathy when you complain and you can’t get the cops involved. Insurance doesn’t cover this kind of loss, so be careful who you travel with.
Choose waffles, not brothels
Every now and then I read an article about an old westerner who got robbed, or even killed, by a prostitute in Thailand. If there is one group of people in Southeast Asia you shouldn’t trust, I reckon it’d be prostitutes, so steer clear If you want to be free from theft, and I’m guessing a lot of other stuff you don’t want.
Don’t be an arrogant, one-upping “real traveller”
This might make some (otherwise nice) people want to attack you. (Read a full post on this here)
Don’t confuse cocaine with heroin
Apparently one of the biggest reasons people die of drug overdoses in Southeast Asia is that they take a whole lot of heroin thinking it’s cocaine. If you can’t tell the difference between the 2 (I probably wouldn’t be able to) then you shouldn’t be doing it. This obviously applies to men and women, but I’m going to make a wild and probably untrue assumption that most people dying of drug overdoses abroad are men.
Start a travel blog, so that if people try to scam you or rip you off you can threaten to out them
Is that hotel trying to make you pay for damage you didn’t cause or change the agreed price? Tell them you run a world famous travel blog and that the small amount of money they are trying to rip you off for wouldn’t be worth the bad publicity (if your blog is anything like mine then you’ll have to exaggerate).
Use your smart phone as a weapon
You could throw it at someone, but since phones don’t have the same properties as boomerangs, you probably won’t get it back. I mean that you can take photos of people that look dodgy, number plates, etc and send them to yourself or someone else, basically giving you something to threaten them with if they decide to try and kill you.
Know your limits
Some people get a bit carried away when they are travelling. Before you jump off that cliff into the murky, rock filled water below, think about whether you’d even consider doing that back home. The Nam Song river in Vang Vieng became the final destination for so many tourists (usually men) who decided that they were invincible while travelling – the drugs probably helped with that too though.
Probably not the safest place to be standing
When crossing the road, hide behind other people
Always head downstream a little when crossing a busy road. I learnt this on the hectic streets of Hanoi. It means that if someone gets crashed into it won’t be you. It’s the same situation as war, those on the front lines take the hits while the generals at the back can cross in safety.
Don’t act like you own the place
I’ve seen a lot of loud, drunk guys in foreign bars acting like they own the place. They hit on every woman in site and are rude to the local men, and this tends to annoy people. If you want avoid getting stabbed, don’t do this!
Can you think of any other travel safety tips for men? Let me know!