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9 Travel Safety Tips For Men

I’ve lost count of how many “Travel Safety for Women” posts I’ve read lately. Well, I actually haven’t read any of them, but I’ve seen the title a lot. Where are all the tips for men? Are we not human beings too? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die?

In order for the balance of the sexes to be restored, I’m taking it upon myself to write the definitive list of travel safety tips for men.

Don’t travel with a girlfriend who makes you pay for everything

Most people fear being robbed while they are travelling, but if you are with someone who demands that you pay for everything because you are the man, you’re basically being robbed, only no one will have sympathy when you complain and you can’t get the cops involved. Insurance doesn’t cover this kind of loss, so be careful who you travel with.

Choose waffles, not brothels

Every now and then I read an article about an old westerner who got robbed, or even killed, by a prostitute in Thailand. If there is one group of people in Southeast Asia you shouldn’t trust, I reckon it’d be prostitutes, so steer clear If you want to be free from theft, and I’m guessing a lot of other stuff you don’t want.

Don’t be an arrogant, one-upping “real traveller”

This might make some (otherwise nice) people want to attack you. (Read a full post on this here)

Don’t confuse cocaine with heroin

Apparently one of the biggest reasons people die of drug overdoses in Southeast Asia is that they take a whole lot of heroin thinking it’s cocaine. If you can’t tell the difference between the 2 (I probably wouldn’t be able to) then you shouldn’t be doing it. This obviously applies to men and women, but I’m going to make a wild and probably untrue assumption that most people dying of drug overdoses abroad are men.

Start a travel blog, so that if people try to scam you or rip you off you can threaten to out them

Is that hotel trying to make you pay for damage you didn’t cause or change the agreed price? Tell them you run a world famous travel blog and that the small amount of money they are trying to rip you off for wouldn’t be worth the bad publicity (if your blog is anything like mine then you’ll have to exaggerate).

Use your smart phone as a weapon

You could throw it at someone, but since phones don’t have the same properties as boomerangs, you probably won’t get it back. I mean that you can take photos of people that look dodgy, number plates, etc and send them to yourself or someone else, basically giving you something to threaten them with if they decide to try and kill you.

Know your limits

Some people get a bit carried away when they are travelling. Before you jump off that cliff into the murky, rock filled water below, think about whether you’d even consider doing that back home. The Nam Song river in Vang Vieng became the final destination for so many tourists (usually men) who decided that they were invincible while travelling – the drugs probably helped with that too though.

Travel safety tips for men - Don't stand on the edge of a volcanoProbably not the safest place to be standing

When crossing the road, hide behind other people

Always head downstream a little when crossing a busy road. I learnt this on the hectic streets of Hanoi. It means that if someone gets crashed into it won’t be you. It’s the same situation as war, those on the front lines take the hits while the generals at the back can cross in safety.

Don’t act like you own the place

I’ve seen a lot of loud, drunk guys in foreign bars acting like they own the place. They hit on every woman in site and are rude to the local men, and this tends to annoy people. If you want avoid getting stabbed, don’t do this!

Can you think of any other travel safety tips for men? Let me know!

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Jon Algie

Jon Algie

A travel blogger from New Zealand who hates talking about himself in the third person and has no imagination when it comes to naming websites.
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14 Comments

  1. April 9, 2014 at 6:23 pm — Reply

    Thank you Jon for taking a stand for us men! I love especially your first point, even if it is not a real safety risk, it can could potentially cut your trip short in no time. The funny thing is that probably all the women safety posts recommend the exact opposite, travelling with a boyfriend… 😉

    • Jon Algie
      April 9, 2014 at 10:14 pm — Reply

      I think most people these days split the costs, but I’ve heard about websites where women try to meet men who will take them on trips around the world (at the expense of the guy of course). I guess those guys aren’t poor backpackers though!

  2. April 10, 2014 at 3:44 am — Reply

    Jon this is a great post and I appreciate your touch of humor. Both my boys enjoy travel but my youngest (21) will be traveling to Thailand this year which is the farthest he’s traveled. I’m sending him this post right now. He’ll enjoy it thoroughly!

    • Jon Algie
      April 10, 2014 at 11:34 am — Reply

      Cheers Daidri, I’m sure he’ll enjoy the trip!

  3. April 12, 2014 at 2:00 am — Reply

    Statically speaking, male travelers are most likely to be victims of a crime abroad than female travelers. Of course, the media always sensationalizes attacks against females.

    • Jon Algie
      April 14, 2014 at 11:17 pm — Reply

      I’ve never really thought about it but it makes sense; I bet we bring it on ourselves more than women do haha.

  4. April 12, 2014 at 11:26 am — Reply

    haha this is a funny post and I love your first tip. That’s something my boyfriend would definitely joke about!

    • Jon Algie
      April 14, 2014 at 11:19 pm — Reply

      Thanks, lucky my girlfriend doesn’t expect me to pay for everything; otherwise she wouldn’t be my girlfriend I guess!

  5. I just saw the title and was curious to read it 🙂 Interesting tips. I do agree that the guys are more likely to get robbed, attacked or threatened than us (in all the mentioned above ways)

    • Jon Algie
      April 14, 2014 at 11:19 pm — Reply

      Thanks Elena, I’m glad people are starting to feel sorry for us guys haha

  6. April 13, 2014 at 5:22 pm — Reply

    Hi Jon! Very funny post! Must read for all men I’d say ;)!

    • Jon Algie
      April 14, 2014 at 11:20 pm — Reply

      Cheers Manouk! I should have suggested training in Muay Thai like you’ve been doing in Thailand.

  7. April 15, 2014 at 11:39 pm — Reply

    This is hysterical. Fun post, Jon 🙂

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