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5 Things Annoying Celebrities Can Teach Us About Travel

Val Kilmer: Stay healthy

It’s hard to stay healthy on the road.  Cheap cigarettes and alcohol (in 3rd world countries) don’t help, and eating out a lot means your diet lacks the balance it needs. Val Kilmer has let himself go in recent years, and while you probably won’t balloon the way he did, it’s still important to look after yourself. Little things like eating at proper meal times, skipping the burgers and pizzas and not drinking every night can help – the temptation is always there though.

Michael Jackson: Getting a tan is a good thing

A lot of people worry about skin cancer these days, but I get the feeling that if Michael Jackson hadn’t turned white everything might have panned out for him. It looked like he went into a mysterious anti-sun machine and got the colour sucked out of him, so a tanning trip to the beach might have helped. If you don’t want to end up a strange, 40 year old anesthetic addict, make sure you get some vitamin D during your next break.

50 Cent: Try not to get shot

When travelling in dangerous areas it’s always a good idea to try and avoid being shot or stabbed. This could really get annoying, especially if you don’t have travel insurance and you end up in hospital for weeks. Being sensible will usually work, but sometimes you’ll end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Another downside to getting shot while travelling is you’ll probably feel the need to tell everyone about it for the rest of your life, which will make you kind of annoying.

Macaulay Culkin: Don’t do too many drugs

For some people, hard drugs are a big part of travelling. Southeast Asia is famous for heroin and every year travellers end up dead in their guesthouse rooms from enjoying it a bit too much. Not only is it bad for your health, but you could do some serious jail time if you get caught with it. I’m assuming in South/Central America the drug of choice is cocaine, which isn’t quite so dangerous. I think everything is OK in moderation, but getting hooked on cocaine or heroin abroad (or at home)is probably a bad idea, just ask former child star Macaulay Culkin. He had the world at his feet until he grew up and everyone realised he had no talent; the drugs probably didn’t help either.

Macaulay-Culkin-heroin

Kim Kardashian: Bring lots of outfits

Everyone seems to advocate packing light, but why not go the other way and pack 2 or 3 weeks’ worth of outfits. You don’t want to be constantly doing washing (or wearing the same clothes too many times), and don’t worry if you don’t want to pay for checked bags on airplanes, I’ve got a great tip for you here. Kim Kardashian’s recent European tour was pretty much an excuse to show off some of the awful clothes she has, so why not skip the historical sites and culture and do that same.

Can you think of any more things that annoying celebrities can teach us about travel? Leave a comment!

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Jon Algie

Jon Algie

A travel blogger from New Zealand who hates talking about himself in the third person and has no imagination when it comes to naming websites.
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14 Comments

  1. Pamm
    June 27, 2014 at 1:03 am — Reply

    Michael Jackson had an immune deficiency called Vitaligo – there ends up to be no pigment in the skin so there are white blothes everywhere – no matter what your skin color started out to be. He chose to bleach the other areas to even the skin tone out. Some people get tattoos in the areas that turn white, but as those white spots grow and suddenly appear, it would be hard to keep up. Millions of people have this – there is no known cause and no know cure. I have the same thing.

    • Jon Algie
      June 27, 2014 at 1:21 am — Reply

      I’d never heard of it! I did a bit of research about it – I guess people assume he chose that look considering all the plastic surgery he had done around the same time.

  2. June 30, 2014 at 6:05 pm — Reply

    Great post, Jon! I think the Val Kilmer lesson is the most important of these, as it makes such a difference to take a night or two off bad consumption. And avoiding bullets or knives is pretty important too. Once you’ve been traveling for a while, it seems like you get an extra sense for dangerous spots.

    • Jon Algie
      June 30, 2014 at 11:09 pm — Reply

      Cheers Dave, I’m guessing you know that better than most having spent so much time in Africa!

  3. June 30, 2014 at 8:39 pm — Reply

    Hahaha, I love reading your work but this one really made me laugh! Love the Val Kilmer one! I do have to disagree though it is REALLY easy to stay healthy on the road, all you need is a little knowledge and the right motivation.

    • Jon Algie
      June 30, 2014 at 11:10 pm — Reply

      Cheers Mike! I’ve been bad at it so far, I’m planning on changing that though.

  4. July 1, 2014 at 5:06 am — Reply

    This article made me laugh! How about those annoying moments when as a celeb, passport control dare to ask you for your passport and you respond with `don’t you know who I am?!` 😉

    • Jon Algie
      July 2, 2014 at 4:24 pm — Reply

      Haha, hopefully I’ll be able to do that 1 day.

  5. July 1, 2014 at 11:07 pm — Reply

    Good work! Interesting post, made me laugh, I´ve met all of the types while travelling 🙂

  6. July 3, 2014 at 2:37 am — Reply

    I am maybe a bit of Kim Kardashian! I always say I will pack light but I always end up taking my entire wardrobe. But it came and bit me on the bum last year when I packed all my designer clothes for my Sicily trip and my luggage disappeared. Got it back eventually but I spent the week wearing 1 bikini, a dress and using the same pair of underwear (washed each time I might add)! So it taught me I don’t need to pack my wardrobe on every holiday!

    • Jon Algie
      July 5, 2014 at 1:53 am — Reply

      Haha, sounds like that would have been horrible for a few days but eventually quite liberating!

  7. October 1, 2014 at 4:42 pm — Reply

    That IS NOT Val Kilmer in my mind ok? Val Kilmer is goddamn Jim Morrison! I don’t caaaare I’ll pretend I didn’t see those pics 🙂 PS – Funny way to write about health tips on the road.

    • Jon Algie
      October 3, 2014 at 11:25 am — Reply

      Haha he definitely let himself go – he was pretty convincing as Jim Morrison – and I’m sure if he lived longer he would have let himself go too!

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