How to Travel (In 5 Completely Obvious Steps)
I’ve noticed a lot of travel bloggers writing posts about how to do seemingly easy things, like “How to Book a Cheap Flight”, “How to Quit Your Job” and “How to Plan a Trip”. I always assumed people knew how to do these things, but maybe I’ve been overestimating my audience. Do the masses out there really know anything? I’ve been talking about travel, but do they (or you, because if you’re reading this you’re my audience) even know how to get started? I thought about getting some famous musicians together to write a charity song about it, but it’s easier just to teach you now. So here it is, my definitive guide on how to travel*.
*These tips are about world travel – if you just want to travel in your own country you can stop reading now and go for a walk!
Get a passport
You might not know what a passport is, but if you turn up to the airport without one you won’t be able to leave the country. Passports are little books with blank pages in them. My passport is black, but don’t be too concerned if yours isn’t black as well, as different countries have different colours. Contact your government to get a passport (I can already envision you guys writing me emails expecting ME to send you one – I can’t do that, sorry!).
Choose a destination
You’d think this would be easy, but I’ve seen plenty of articles on how to do it, so people are obviously struggling with it. There are 221 countries in the world – that’s a lot to think about, so I’ll make it easier for you. Take the first letter of your name and then type into Google “countries that start with (put the letter in here)”. My name starts with J, so my options are Jordan, Japan, Jamaica and Jersey. Out of those 4, I’d go for Japan. See how I cut down 221 countries into 4 easy options? It really is that simple! (If there are no countries that start with the first letter of your name, either do it with your middle name or just give up and forget about travelling).
Book a flight
I don’t know how people can write whole articles on this – finding a cheap flight really isn’t that hard. There are a lot of cheap flight search sites, so choose 1 (or better yet, try all of them), type the name of the country you’re planning on going to and then push the search button. You’ll see many flights, I’d advise to choose the cheapest one, but that’s up to you (after all, you get what you pay for!).
Organise a visa
Some countries don’t really trust you, so they make you get a document (in the travel industry we call it a visa) to confirm who you are and if you’re from a country that they like. If you’re from a popular country like New Zealand then you won’t need a visa to get into most countries, but if you’re from an unpopular country, like the Philippines, then you probably will (don’t worry Filipinos, I like you, it’s just my government that doesn’t). To get a visa, get in touch with the embassy for the country you wish to visit (important tip: the flight you book and the visa you arrange should both be for the same country).
Get on the plane
You haven’t really travelled until you’ve boarded the plane (or bus, boat, train, car etc, but plane sounds better). You can’t take water through security, so make sure you drink it before hand or you’ll have to throw it out. You’ll also have your bags (and if you’re unlucky, your body) searched for illegal items, so make sure you either hide them well or leave them at home. You then need to board the plane and sit in the seat that the airline assigns you. Then sit back, relax and feel the rush of pride that knowing how to travel brings you, for you are now an expert and can impart your knowledge on future generations.
Do you know how to travel? Do you have any advice for first time travellers? Let me know!
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